TEQUILA POPSICLE

Hi, my name is Sober Susan and I am banned from drinking for fear that I will turn into my rough riding sister Saucy Sally. 

Totally kidding guys, I don't have a drinking problem... BUT, due to the Candida situation I have experiencing, I avoid alcohol. This has been going on all year! At most I would have a sip of wine and pray that it wouldn't anger my organs. However, two weeks ago we were in Joshua Tree with some of our very best friends in the entire world (yes, Caton and Kate, we miss you terribly, come back) and I felt it was time to break my four month long abstinence.

Now, there is something about being in the desert, on 'vacation', that requires a cocktail I feel... which may sound very Alcoholic of me, but I swear this feeling comes from a good place and not one of drowning my sorrows in a bottle of gin... Moving on.  

So when faced with the 'desert drinking dilemma' or the triple D  as I like to call it, I found myself struck with the fear of god. Would my organs simply rebel? Would they riot and refuse to function!? At the end of the day I decided we only get one life to life (hm someone should make that into a Soap) and came up with a 'safe' cocktail for my sensitive stomach. 

-THE TEQUILA POPSICLE-

What you will need:

1 whole Navel Orange freshly squeezed (DON'T CHEAT, fresh press that shit!) 
1 whole lemon freshly squeezed and seeds filtered out
1.5-2 oz tequila of choice 
lime wedge and salt for rim*

Using a citrus press or juicer, squeeze your orange and lemon juice into a small glass and set aside. 
Cut a small slit into the center of your lime wedge and run it along the edge of your chilled cocktail glass, rub the edge in salt *I used chili salt. 
Add your tequila to the cocktail glass, pour your fresh squeezed juices over the top and stir. 

Now, I call this a Tequila Popsicle because, well, it tastes like a popsicle! Which means that you can consume it far too quickly, so do be careful. I advise having a large bowl of guac near by with your favorite tortilla chips, just to help soften the blow.  

Summer is nearly upon us and this fresh (squeezed) beverage is just the thing to carry the winter blues away. Cheers. 

xx 

COCONUT HONEY LATTE

There are few things in life more comforting than a good cup of coffee... You know, the cup of coffee that feels like a warm hug; familiar in some strange way (probably because you have had it every morning for, well, 90% of your adult life, hell maybe even longer).

Today is not a day for that cup of coffee! Today is a day for something different.

                                                           -COCONUT HONEY LATTE-

What you will need:

24-32 oz of freshly brewed coffee
1-2 tsp honey (to taste)
1 tbsp coconut oil
1-3 tbsp milk of choice (I used unsweetened flax milk)

Place all ingredients into your blender and turn onto the highest setting for 30-45 seconds until frothy.

This isn't a 'coffee shop' latte, this isn't your average cup of joe either, it sits somewhere perfectly in the middle. (ok that is a lie, it is really freaking tasty... So maybe, you know, try it when your feeling a little twirly)

Do drink responsibly, share with your friends so you don't get too caffeinated (who am I kidding drink it all! Just don't have a heart attack)

Happy Monday everyone, may your day be filled to the brim (coffee pun intended),

Xx

ACAI

There is this Amazonian berry known as the  açaí ... before we get to far on this subject I would like to have a moment to discuss how fiercely the American people adopt and butcher words form other lands. If you were to show this word to ten people in the street nearly all of them would pronounce it differently (and incorrectly)... it is like the pronunciation crisis of the fashion world all over again (thanks youtube for fixing that one).  

Step one, pronunciation- Açaí: Ah-sigh-y [aˌsaˈi]. This is not how the dictionary would break it down, but it makes visual sense, does it not?  

Step two, knowing why this berry is qualified as a 'superfood'. The açaí berry is packed with antioxidants which are amazing for your entire being. They fight free radicals and have been proven to help prevent disease and oxidative stress on the body.  

Step three, please realize that I am not about to tell you the açaí berry is the cure for all that ales you. BUT I will say that it taste good and isn't bad for you... so you might as well give it a go! What do you have to loose?

-PROTEIN PACKED ACAI BOWL-

What you will need: 

1 packet of frozen acai from Sambazon (run under warm water and break it apart gently)
1/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk 
*1 banana, 1/4 of it sliced and set aside
1 tsp chia seeds 
1 tbsp honey
Optional: kale, spinach, strawberries, blueberries, or pineapple

Add all ingredients into your blender and purée until smooth. 

Top your lovely açaí mixture with remaining banana, berries, fruit, cocoa nibs, raw nuts or whatever your healthy heart desires! Due to my candida I opted for- unsweetened coconut shreds, raw walnuts, raw pumpkin seeds, unsweetened flax cereal and the tiniest drizzle of honey (shhhh don't tell my doctor)... which, I wont lie, was rather wonderful! 

This makes for an amazing breakfast or a fantastic snack; leaving you energized rather than weighed down. 

I must confess that I tried to get really fancy for you guys, making a super health, super superfood acai bowl... to say it didn't go well is an understatement. Adding kale AND a nutrition packed raw reserve, green superfood powder into the mix made for a rather... healthy tasting snack, if you know what I mean. This version however, came out MUCH better, so, give it a go and let me know what you think. I am still learning how to make this dish as delicious and nutritious as possible and would love to know even more, so if you have wisdom, SHARE IT... please. 

Happy snacking everyone. 

xx 

*p.s. that beautiful, banana covered bowl was for Drew... I'm not allowed bananas so I omit them from the recipe, however, if you can have them ADD THEM! Don't be a fool. 

PECAN SANDIE-SH

You know those days where you wake up and everything just feels... wrong. Where you can't quite wrap your head around what day of the week it is, what you need to accomplish, or why the alarm is going off so (damn) early? I have those days a lot lately. Perhaps it is due to 'brain fog' perhaps it is due to lack of sleep... whatever the cause may be those days call for a cookie. 

There is something simply satisfying about a freshly baked cookie (even when they may not be a 'traditional' treat) having a cookie just makes it feel as though all is right in the world. Like when you were little and had a hard day, knowing your mom would let you have an extra cookie after dinner made all the days problems melt away; a truly magical thing, one of lifes little treasures... granted it was a rare occasion that this would happen in my house hold, but the sentiment is nice. 

-PECAN SANDIES-

3/4 cup pecan meal
1/4 cup pecan pieces
1/4 cup tapioca flour
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 tbsp chia seed meal
1/4 cup unsweetened apple sauce
1 tbsp lemon juice
3 tbsp honey
2 tbsp coconut nectar
1/3 cup coconut oil, melted

Mix all dry ingredients together, stir well until no lumps remain. Combine the wet ingredients in a separate bowl, let set for 2-5 minutes. Add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture, stir together until dough forms. 

Roll dough into 1 inch balls, place on parchment paper and lightly flatten with your palm. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes. 

These little treats helped cure a wicked case of the blues the other day that is for sure. Simple and satisfying (and guilt free). They may not be your mamas cookies, but they will most certainly do the trick (in a gluten free, grain free, sugar free, vegan kind of way). 

xx 

MEATY BALLS

There are so many inappropriate jokes I want to make with this post... so many jokes involving 'meaty balls'... 'big balls'... 'big meaty balls'...you get it... but I feel that it would be in pour taste considering I am writing about a classic dish your Italian grandmother would make for Sunday supper. Then again, your Italian grandmother is probably rolling over in her grave for how unauthentic this dish truly is (first and foremost... it is gluten free... DUN DUN DUN!).

I don't know what inspired me to make meat balls. I haven't had a meat ball in a long time. Years have passed since I have tasted a rich, savory meat ball, slathered in marinara... my mouth is watering just thinking about it. Anyways. For some strange reason I was craving pasta with red sauce and meat balls... so what is a girl who is allergic to everything do? Gets creative that's what! 

First (as a side note) let's talk pasta-

Trader Joes has a new brown rice/quinoa pasta that is to die for! The texture and flavor is perfect. If I could remember what real pasta tasted and felt like, I would venture to say this pasta is closer to being real pasta than Dolly Partons body has been since the 1980s. Seriously. 

Tinkyada makes my second favorite gluten free pasta. The texture is perfect, and the flavor is fantastic. It holds up and doesn't get mushy (unless you way over cook it). 

There are numerous other brands that are just fine and if you have a good recommendation do share... but truthfully, those two are amazing, so why complicate things when we have meat balls to talk about. 

-JUMBO MEAT BALLS-

What you will need for 7 large meat balls- 

1/2 pound high quality organic ground pork 

1/2 pound high quality organic ground beef (I used an 85/15 blend)  

3-4 cloves garlic minced 

1.5 tsp dried oregano

3/4 tsp sea salt  

1 tsp black pepper

1.5 tsp onion powder

1 egg white ( you can use the whole egg if you like... I am allergic to the yolks so I omit them)

1/4 cup brown rice flour 

3 tsp olive oil

What you will need for the sauce- 

1 can organic tomato sauce

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

1 shallot

1 tsp oregano 

2-3 large fresh basil leaves, finely shopped

1 tsp sea salt 

To do-

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

In a medium sized bowl combine the pork, beef, seasonings, egg, and flour. Mix (with your hands... gross I know, but get over it, it is part of the experience and makes the balls better) until all ingredients are combined evenly. Pour 3 tsp olive oil into a cast iron skillet (or skillet of your choosing), place the meat balls into the oil, rotating on each side until golden brown. Drain any excess oil from the pan, turn off the heat and allow the balls to rest.

While the meat balls are browning-

Combine the tomato sauce, minced garlic, basil, and seasonings in a small bowl. 

Once the balls are golden, pour the sauce over the top (once the pan isn't super hot... otherwise you will have tomato splattered everywhere... I, of course, would never let this happen...) Place the cast iron into the preheated oven for 20 minutes. 

While the balls are in the oven, make your side dishes, cook your pasta, and drink a glass of wine. 

I kid you not, we have had pasta with meat balls twice in the last week... that is how addicted I am. I had forgotten how good a well done meat ball could be! 

What about you? What food are you currently craving? If you have allergies and feel like you are missing out on something magical, let me know and I will see what I can do to solve your mouth watering mysteries. 

xx 

THIS ISHT IS BANANAS

I'm not sure what caused me to crave pudding... perhaps it is because the weather is getting nicer and baked goods seems so last (holiday) season. Or perhaps it is because Easter is around the corner and pastel colored puddings seem to be a theme in households across America. Then again, it could be because I am re-reading Harry Potter and almost all desserts are referred to as pudding which I don't throughly understand but british terminology holds one of the keys to my heart so I am ok with it. 

At any rate, there I was (in my kitchen) craving pudding (and not allowed to have real sugar... or cream or egg yolks... or anything that would make up pudding really). What is a girl supposed to do? Give up? Throw in the towel? NOT HAVE PUDDING!? Don't be absurd. To be fair, what I came up with really isn't pudding... but you know what, it was close enough for me, so it will be close enough for you! (ok... that was harsh... but I promise it is really good)

-BANANA CREAM PUDDING-

What you will need for the crust:
1 cup pecans ground, plus a 1/2 cup pecan pieces (like you would get in the baking isle)
2 tbsp coconut oil melted
1 tsp agave nectar
dash sea salt

For the *coconut whip cream topping:
1 can unsweetened full fat coconut milk
2-3 tbsp coconut sugar (to taste) 
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon 

For the filling:
2 ripe bananas... ok be smart, us really ripe bananas they work better for this sort of thing (I jumped the gun a little on this batch, still amazing... not spectacular)
1/2 cup coconut whip cream*
2 tbsp agave nectar
1 tsp vanilla 
1/2 tsp cinnamon 
1 tbsp chia seeds 

Pulse pecans in food processor until coarsely ground, transfer to a small bowl. Add pecan pieces, melted coconut oil, agave, and sea salt, stir well. Press the mixture into the bottom of a pie pan or parchment paper covered bread pan (listen, I work with what I have, don't judge). Place into the freezer to harden. 

Whisk together coconut cream, coconut sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon until thickened. Set to chill while you prepare the filling. 

In a blender, food processor, or vitamix, combine the bananas, 1/2 cup coconut cream, agave, vanilla, cinnamon, and chia seeds. Puree until smooth and a thick pudding like consistency forms (add more chia if you would like). 

Pour the banana mixture over the crust and place back into the freezer for 15-20 minutes. Remove and cover with the remaining coconut cream, chill in the freezer for an additional 15-30 minutes. Transfer to the refrigerator and store there until ever last morsel has been devoured.  

As I sat, licking the spoon clean of all banana flavored goodness, I couldn't help but to think of my childhood. Sitting around the dinner table as my dad dished out pieces of my favorite dessert- pistachio pudding. He would joke about how much we had to pay per slice because that silken green blob was as good as gold in his book. The pudding was perched atop a buttery cookie like crust and topped with a Cool whip/cream cheese concoction that was to die for; perhaps gold is putting it too lightly. 

I may have to cut corners with all of my food allergies. Making perfectly normal things out of the obscure... but you guys, sometimes my loss is your gain... and I am 100% ok with that. 

Bon Appetite you babes! 

xx

WHITE BEAN DIP

To be fair, I have seen white bean dip popping up across food blogs near and far, spreading itself (did you catch that?) throughout the foodie community for quite some time. However, until a week ago, I had never tried to make it. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't want to try it, I just never had a reason to.

On that fated after noon, upon looking in the cupboard wondering what to make for lunch, I found a can of white beans staring back at me (pretty sure a house elf put them there) and was struck with a sudden curiosity about this bean which is usually relegated to chilis, soups, and italian salads... what did they actually taste like? What kind of texture would they have if I mashed them? I needed to find out. I rinsed them, poured them into my vitamix, added a little of this, and a little of that, and TADA I had dip... or spread... or whatever you would like. All I know is it is delicious. 

-WHITE BEAN DIP-

What you will need: 

1 can organic white beans

1 tsp sea salt

1 tbsp olive oil 

1 clove garlic (2 if you are trying to repel vampires or your date) 

juice from half of a lemon 

Combine all ingredients into your blender, food processor, or vitamix and puree until smooth. Dip veggies, pita, pretzels, chips, or anything you find dip worthy into it's velvety goodness... or take a page out of my book and spread it onto a wrap full of fresh vegetables for an afternoon treat!(my childhood is cringing at that statement... vegetables? a treat!? jk... I loved veggies, but let's be honest they were covered in ranch dip... also fruit snacks and CheeseIts were a way of life and took precedence over all other snack options)  

Blend, dip, spread, you do you and enjoy every minute of it.  

Happy Monday everyone, try to survive won't you? 

xx 

MINT MAGIC

Happy St.Patricks day everyone! Well... to those of you who are A)still alive and B)not belligerently wasted (yet). Today we celebrate... wait... what is it we are celebrating exactly? OH RIGHT wearing green and drinking! JK JK, but every 'Irish' person in America would like to believe that is in fact what this day is all about. 

Truthfully it is a celebration (a day for feasting) started in the seventeenth century in honor of St. Patrick. It commemorates the arrival of Christianity to Ireland and is a celebration of Irish heritage and culture. 

But enough history, on to the goods! Let's be honest for a second, getting pinched for not wearing green is bull shit! Also green food, primarily (green ketchup) is a thing that should never happen (but it does)... What I am trying to say is, green is a color best left to the irish, to those with freckly complexions and red hair (there are exceptions of course, I just don't believe in wearing color... I do make room for olive green... but someone once told me that doesn't count on St.Paddy's...again I say bull shit). ANYWAYS. I saw this recipe the other day and given that it was naturally green, I figured it would be ok... and you guys I was right! 

-MAGICAL MINT BARS-

What you will need for the mint layer: 

1 large hass avocado 
1/4 cup agave nectar
6 tbsp melted coconut oil
1 1/2 cups unsweetened shredded coconut 
1/2 tsp peppermint extract
dash sea salt

Combine all ingredients into your blender or vitamix (or food processor). Puree until smooth. If you would like leave a little of the coconut in it's shredded form for texture. Line a bread pan with parchment paper and pour your mint mixture inside, smooth evenly and place in the freezer. 

What you will need for the chocolate layer*:

1/4 cup vegan shortening melted (I used a coconut/palm blend. You could also simply use coconut oil)
2.5 tbsp agave nectar 
1/4 cup carob powder 
1/2 tsp peppermint extract
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp unsweetened coconut milk
dash sea salt

Whisk all ingredients together in a medium sized bowl until smooth. Remove the mint layer from the freezer, pour the chocolate over the top, and place back into the freezer for 15-20 minutes. Cut into 'bars', cover, and store in the freezer until you are ready to enjoy their shamrocky goodness. 

I know, I get it, avocado in a dessert?! Weird? Sure! In theory. In actuality it makes for one tasty treat! No lie, I was really impressed.

Cheers my green friends! Eat, drink, and be merry. 

xx

RAMEN

Several months ago I became obsessed with a show called The Mind of a Chef; which is produced by Anthony Bourdain and stars* chef David Chang of the renowned Momofuku.

David takes you on a journey through his career in food. He shows you the in's and out's of Japanese food culture and eats his weight in Ramen while doing so. When I laid eyes on that first shimmering bowl of noodles I think part of my spirit died... all I wanted in that moment was to eat ramen... real ramen... but alas my glutarded guts would murder me the moment I slurped down those tender noodles. I cried a little on the inside and let my dreams of ramen bliss wither up and die...until.

While walking through the isles of Whole Foods the other day I discovered (to my absolute bliss) Millet and Brown Rice ramen noodles! The heavens parted I swear. 

Now, the ramen I came up with may not be traditional... but you guys, I was happy to be eating ramen I could have cried (tell that to my poor 19 year old self sustaining on Top Ramen). It is flavorful and oh so deliciously comforting, which is everything you want on a grey, dreary day is it not? To be fair I didn't have all of the things for 'legit' ramen... soooo instead of being 'top' my ramen likes to be on the bottom (go ahead giggle like a 12 year old boy, it's fine). 

-BOTTOM RAMEN-

What you will need: 

2 bricks of Millet & Brown Rice Ramen by Lotus Foods (the texture was amazing)

3-4 cups reduced sodium chicken broth (or vegetable broth) 

1/4 cup chopped carrots

1/4 cup chopped celery 

1 small onion diced

1/4 cup chopped zucchini

2 tsp olive oil

2 tsp fish sauce

1 tsp sesame oil

1/2 tsp finely chopped fresh ginger

1/2 tsp chili flakes

1/2 tsp sea salt

Optional toppings:

extra ginger

diced jalapeño 

finely sliced scallions  

soft boiled egg (I was aiming for soft boiled... forgot I was boiling eggs altogether and ended up with hard boiled, still delicious)

Combine- carrots, celery, onion, zucchini, and olive oil into a sauce pan. Sweat the veggies down until the onion is slightly translucent. Add stock, ginger, chili flakes, sea salt, sesame oil, and fish sauce, bring to a simmer. Place the ramen bricks into your broth, allow to cook for 1 minute then gently pull the noodles apart with a fork, continue to cook for 3 more minutes. 

Add whatever extra toppings you would like and slurp up your bowl full of bliss. 

I can't tell you of a time I was happier to eat a bowl of noodles. It truly is the little things in life isn't it? 

Leave me a comment with a favorite food and dietary restriction and I will do my best to find (or invent) a delicious alternative... because let's be honest, there are some things that will never be the same (insert deep dish pizza here). 

xx

*Season one on Netflix features David Chang, season two (out now I do believe) features two other chefs. 

BISCUIT

According to the food trend forecast for 2014, biscuits are on the rise (no pun intended). The once humble accouterment has gone from simple side dish to decadent dish de jour! Plane, smeared in jam, covered in honey, or smothered in gravy, these little pieces of heaven are making a statement on menus across the US. This, of course, makes my glutarded guts grumble out of shear jealousy! All I want in life is Avocado Toast and Biscuits and gravy! Is that too much to ask!?!? No... I think not. 

I am working on my own gluten free biscuit blend, though not perfect, it makes for one heck of a base to homemade sausage gravy (recipe coming soon). If you don't have time or energy to make your own flour blend, take the easy road and make them from Pamela's baking mix or Bob's Redmill Biscuit blend (I won't judge you, I swear). Should you so choose to build your own, here is a rough guide to a nice and fluffy (slightly crumbly) golden encrusted, Bisquick inspired biscuit!

-BISCUIT BLEND-

What you will need: 

1/2 cup coconut flour

3/4 cup brown rice flour

3/4 cup "sweet" sorgum flour

1 cup tapioca flour

4 tsp baking powder

2 tsp baking soda

1.5 tsp sea salt

Sift all ingredients together (if you are like me and lack a proper sifter mix well with a whisk or fluff with a fork). Store in an air tight container... or mason jar if you are cliche like myself. 

-BANGIN BISCUITS-

What you will need for 2 MASSIVE biscuits or 4 small biscuits:

1 cup biscuit mix

2 tsp coconut oil melted

1 tbsp coconut butter melted (or regular butter)

2 tsp agave nectar

1/4 coconut milk 

3-4 tbsp warm water

1.5 tsp lemon juice 

In a small bowl blend together agave, coconutmilk,water, and lemon juice. In a medium sized bowl combine biscuit mix and melted butter and oil, mix together with a fork until the flour looks crumbly. Add wet ingredients to the flour mixture and stir until smooth (it will be a bit fluffy textured). 

Bake at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes or until golden around the edges. 

These biscuits have been my everything lately. I eat them drizzled with agave, accompanied by egg whites and sauteed kale (my obsession). They are dreamy (Drew loves them you guys) and worthy of gracing any meal (come to think of it... they would be amazing with chili or soup in these last few months of winter). 

Happy Monday Treats everyone, may all your kitchen adventures be golden and delicious. 

xx