The other day while clicking on the inter-webs, like I (often) do, I came across a picture that said: Take at least one. The bottom of this image looked like it had been perforated so that you could tear little slips from it that read: A Chance, A Chance, A Chance, A Chance, A Chase. And as I read this I thought to myself, “huh…”.
Huh, as in a sigh of recognition; the one which states an innate understanding of something on a verseral level. I am the absolute worst at giving myself a chance. I don’t give myself credit, cut myself slack, or allow myself any form of any excuse, because I CAN HACK IT! No, that is absolutely WRONG. I can’t hack it (or can I? It depends heavily on context). This is a very complicated processes, like wearing with a noose as a necklace.
Drawing the line between feeling accomplished and feeling like a failure, the line between compliment and insult, beauty and fray, confidence and arrogance. Bunkmates, lovers, co-conspirators, they wrestle in my mind. It is difficult to feel like I am going anywhere when so many others are getting there before me… To tell you the truth, I don’t even know where “there” is, butthey are getting there first, and that is all that matters in my mind.
If I am really honest with myself I would admit that, no, I am not a failure, no, I am not fat, no, I am not ugly, but damn it if I don’t feel that way from time to time (which way you may ask… all of them).
In the end I think we would all be better off if we simply cut ourselves a little slack and loosened our imaginary noose, no matter how chic it may be. So that next time we think “gosh darn it! I’m just a lilly livered gutter snipe” we will slow down, pause, breath, and give ourselves a chance.
xx
