Her face is like the moon, pale, beautiful, and serene. Her gilded path is confident and soft; the tides shift in her wake.
You can't help but be in awe of her presence, magnetic some say, like gravity remark others.
I sit back and observe in wonder. Who is she? Where does she come from and where does she go to? She feels familiar and yet a stranger, a friend perhaps? A lover? Angel or demon I can't be sure.
The longer I wonder the more I recognize the angles of her face. Her eyes are my eyes. Her skin my skin. Her hair, her voice, her long limbs and flat chest, all belong to me, but her energy... her presence, I struggle to recognize but I long to understand.
...
There are days dear reader that we forget who we are. We disconnect from our true selves and fall prey to the gremlins which play tricks on our minds... I write on this often because I feel it often, I see it in my friends, my family, my world. It is a worthy subject and one we try to ignore with automated responses- "how are you!?" one may ask, "I'm fine, thanks"- we distract, we avoid, we disconnect from ourselves, which will lead to disconnection from others in the end.
Life is short. The narratives from our pasts dictate our present far too often... at least mine do. The old thoughts creep in and crowd out the change and growth that has formed my being over the last few years. It blows my mind how one word can change me from the cool, confident, beautiful woman that I am (want to be...) and send me on a trajectory to the dark depths of my soul. It happens in an instant and I don't even realize that its happening until it is too late.
My quest then becomes recognition and presence in the moment. If I am connected to my being I am better able to see, better able to know, what is happening and why. When I am present I am a better person, I am a better friend, wife, daughter... When I am connected to myself I am better at living (mind blowing, I know).
Today I want to encourage you to see the truth in yourself, even if it is small, even if it is only a whisper, I beg you to listen. Be present with yourself. Feel what you feel and know that it is only that- a feeling- it is not the truth of who you are, it does not define you.
Today I need grace. Today I need presence. Today I need to recognize the truth of my being, the beautiful, flawed, dynamic angles that shape me into who I am.
xx
