You all know how much I love the F word (to my mothers great dismay). In my opinion a well placed F bomb (are the kids still calling it that?) has just the right impact and can add flavor to a otherwise lack luster sentence.
Today, however, I am not speaking of that F word... but rather an F word that I am growing to loath more than car horns in traffic... this F word leaves me feeling nauseous and uneasy...and yet I catch myself saying this four letter word more often than I would like. I'm talking about FEAR (shocker).
I recently listened to a TedTalk all about the things we fear (one of the speakers went into SPACE! He is a proper ASTRONAUT who has left the surface of this earth for extended periods of time! That is terrifying) and as I sat there listening I thought of all the petty, insignificant things I am 'genuinely' afraid of... the things which make my heart race, and all I could think was, "why?...why am I afraid? What is the worst that could happen?" I'm not talking 'Goosebumps' fears, the things that go bump in the night, I'm talking about the real deal fears, the ones which end in getting fired or DEATH (ok... those are extreme but you get what I'm saying right? Scholastic didn't cover this shit in a tween book series).
Back to my point... this realization is not new, but for some reason it struck a chord with me. An angry mob will not show up at my door if I fail, if I mess up, if I don't get the job... so why not try? The fact of the matter is, if we never try we will never know, if we never do the the hard, scary thing (what ever it may be) we will never become who we are meant to (and that is more sad than your spinster Aunt watching the Notebook, alone, on Valentines day...).
Don't think for a second I have this all worked out. I know my fears will not vanish over night, and they will (per usual) show up at just the worst times, BUT you guys, I am determined to work on this harder than Beyonce on her post baby body!
What are you afraid of?
xx
