WAKE UP

It is 3:40 in the afternoon. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, sipping (decaf) coffee, considering sending an email that would drastically impact the start of the next decade… Wow that is a sentence! Why is it that talking about the New Year in that way makes it seem both ominous and glorious? ‘We are entering into a new decade!’, ‘2020 will change everything’… ‘It’s the end of an era’… ‘My vision is perfect, I’m seeing 2020’ (ok… dad joke… couldn’t help myself). But it’s true, there is something significant about that moment, just days from now, when earth rotates itself into a new decade. When the ball drops, fireworks explode, noise makers declare, and champagne corks proclaim our entrance into the new.

Where will you be? Who will you be with? Will you be awake?

That word, ‘awake’, isn’t just a state of being asleep in your bed, but rather a state of your BE-ing, being asleep; your mind, body, soul, hitting snooze. My friends, it is time to wake up. To quote the 1993 smash hit film Sister Act 2, featuring Whoopi Goldberg-

“If you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention.”

This lyric has been ringing in my ears for weeks now. It is convicting is it not? Sure, in the movie Whoopi is trying to get a class of disruptive high school students to literally pay attention… but when you read it slowly and apply it to your own life, it takes on a much bigger meaning (or maybe thats just me). But ask yourself-

• Who do I want to be? I am the person I want to be?

• Am I where I want to be? If not, where do I want to go?

• Am I awake and present in my life?

• Am I paying attention? To my life? To people around me? To my calling and purpose?

When I answer those questions the fear gripping my chest dissipates. When I answer those questions the worry over “should I or shouldn’t I send that email” subsides (mostly), because I see a greater ‘somewhere’ in my future and in order to get there I need to wake up and pay attention to the call on my life.

Here’s the thing- I am bound to fall on my face and get things wrong. I will fail, I will mess up, and I will probably cry about it (I’m practically my mother these days, crying over commercials… not literally, but you catch my drift). The question then becomes, are the person I want to be, and where I want to go worth the scrapes and bruises along the way? And I would say yes.

All of life is your teacher. What can you learn when you fail? When you fall? Fall enough and, in time, you will find really creative ways to get back up again (trust me).

So check in with yourself. Are you awake or only dreaming?

Waking up is no small thing. I once told a coach of mine that I felt like my 'asleep’ self was clinging onto the covers for dear life and screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” inside, she was very afraid to wake up. All of life had taught me it was safer to be numb and asleep. But, my friends, waking up is worth it, even on the days that feel less than spectacular (today being one of them), I still wouldn’t trade it for the world.

In grace and peace.

xx

*Image from a very awake moment, walking the beach in Cabo having deep, rich, soul conversations with a dear friend… I will never forget the sound of the ocean, the rain hitting my skin, the salt water rushing over my feet… it was magic.

SHIFT

It has been a long day. You know that kind of day right?

Mind you, it is only 5:45pm but I have been awake for 12 hours… or mostly awake. I woke up, got ready, got dressed, made breakfast (to-go) and was ready to head out the door when I got the text that my client had to cancel… which was great… other than the fact that I would have used my morning differently. C’est la vie! Nothing to do but shift.

I poured a cup of coffee and got quiet. Read, journaled. Opened the day like a Rilke poem… you would think after such a dreamy morning the day ahead would follow in stride, alas it was not to be so.

After breakfast the weather decided to shift faster than Vin Diesel in 2Fast2Furious. We went from being in the upper 70s low 80s to dropping into the high 50s low 60s over night; rain, wind, THUNDER and lightning graced the skies… oh, and did I mention the pressure change that comes along with that sort of system? Needless to say my head exploded… or at least my right shoulder, neck, and hemisphere of my brain did.

So again, I shifted. Rest. Read. Snuggle Stanley. Drink copious amounts of tea… translation- do none of the productive things I planned to do. Don’t get me wrong, I am down for a day of rest but fighting an oncoming migraine is not restful… at some point you realize that you either stop fighting, take a deep breath and surrender or keep fighting and be miserable.

My friend Amy posted this quote by Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis and it resonated on a deep level with me-

To be honest I’m not sure where to go from here. The patterns of un-health I lived in for most of my life? The ways I learned to survive? The pain, the trauma, the holes blown into my soul by simply being alive (as Brooke would say)? We all have them. We all have patterns and habits and (emotional) survival techniques which rival the Navy Seals. But the question becomes, will we heal? Will we shift our perspective? Will we notice the patterns and choose to behave differently? Live differently? Will we be bold enough to become Paul Walker in lifes Vin Diesel moments? (ok… if you haven’t seen The Fast and The Furious you will have zero idea what I’m talking about… but just know it is a movie about racing cars and being able to SHIFT really really fast… get it? Shifting? Yes? Good.)

Only the early 2000’s could make something look this good…

I realize that shifting my mindset around a migraine may seem like no big deal… but the truth is, it was a huge deal. This shift wasn’t about the migraine, it was about the day- the plans and expectations of ‘doing’ that didn’t get met… You see, I, notoriously struggle with shifting my plans, expectations, etc. Just ask Drew, he will confirm that this is my Achilles heel. I like plans, I like KNOWING things, I (in-spite of who I want to be) like structure… so when something comes up last minute, or an expectation isn’t met I struggle to bounce back. Because of this, ‘Sad Panda-ing’ is a pattern in my life. Oh, you aren’t familiar with that (non)medical term? It is the feeling of disappointment which easily upends the joy with which one would like to function in life, causing me… I mean one to mope and feel a wee-bit depressed like a ‘Sad Panda’. Got it?

The truth is 92% of my patterns, habits, survival techniques and triggers are ME, I choose them. And you know something… you choose it too. OWN IT. Face the truth of the matter. No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel. People will forever act a way, do a thing, be a real jerk etc. BUT you are the one who chooses to make take their words on as truth, accepting their actions and make them personal. SO will you keep living out of your old patterns, survival techniques, and wounding? Or will you learn to shift?

Theoretically speaking this all sounds like a good idea. Shifting, YES, lets do that! But how? The thing is, if we try to do it in our own strength we will almost always hit a wall at some point. So… maybe I need to get out of the way.

Matthew 6:6 says, “Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.”

I get so caught up in performing. In doing. In going. That I forget my purpose. My call to BE, to breath, to get quiet, shift my gaze from myself to the One who created me, the One who knows me, the One who heals my hurt, resets my patterns, promises me rest and a future-

Jeremiah 29:11, ““For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.””

When I shift my gaze off of myself I see the bigger picture, I sense his grace. I see my path as perfect, I see how it twists and turns and intersects with all of life at a grater scale. When I shift my gaze from myself to God I see myself through his eyes- chosen, healed, loved, known, celebrated… When I shift my gaze from myself to God I see the world through his eyes, I see others through his eyes, and it is in that space that wholeness and healing comes.

Maybe you feel stuck in old patterns… like really stuck…not only is your shifter locked up from all the grinding in your own strength, but your car won’t turn on, the garage door won’t open and you find yourself stuck inside the survival ‘garage’ of your life. My question is, how is that working out for you? Do you like it in there? Does it actually feel safe? Please know that I, not so long ago, was living in my ‘survival garage’… eating ‘Sad Panda’ Soup, thinking ‘this is it… this is life’. At some point all my excuses broke down. All my survival techniques and ‘self help methods’ stopped working (Thank God). I learned surrender. I learned to shift my gaze.

What are your patterns? Triggers? Wounds? Where is your focus? Are you angry? Disappointed? Blaming? Afraid? Using the same tools to ‘fix’ all of lifes problems and finding that none of them really work for the job? Sounds to me like you are in the perfect place to shift, to let go, surrender, get still. A contemplative prayer I love just came to my mind. It may feel awkward, it may not be easy… then again, it may just be the thing that unlocks all the stuck places inside your heart… so if you are willing, come to a quiet space, settle in, notice your breath… then ask-

Lord God, show me you.

Show me you, THEN show me, ME.

This isn’t where I anticipated this post going… it is a good thing I’ve learned to shift.

In grace and peace.

xx

SALTY

The other day I was at work, having lunch with the photo shoot team, minding my own business when someone asked for salt… the team had ordered lunch in and the restaurant forgot to put salt packets in the bag (so rude). Given the fact that I LOVE salt and feel for salt the way my friend Kara feels for Everything But the Bagel Seasoning, I had a small shaker of Pink Himalayan sea salt ‘on me’… or at least I had it in my lunch bag. There was a girl eating with us who could not believe I carried salt with me… she couldn’t believe it because she HATES salt! Which is insane right? Who HATES salt? I have a theory that she only thinks she hates it because she is eating mostly processed foods loaded with sodium (msg) which is not the same as eating real food with salt on it. She is eating processed foods which only semi resemble where they originally came from. This must be right… it sounds right, right? Regardless, lets run with it…

This morning at breakfast Drew and I had a really casual conversation around identity and belonging… who and what we were created to be (if you didn’t gather my sarcasm around the ‘casual’ nature of this conversation, please know I was being the MOST sarcastic… it was a super serious situation. OH, and yes, we DO have a lot of our ‘chats’ at breakfast… best way to start the day).

As many of you know or you may have just assumed, my (our) faith has had a resurgence over the course of the last year. It was the last thing either of expected and yet it has been the most transformative event to take place in our adult lives- bold statement I am aware. ANYWAYS. Full transparency- coming back to the world of faith has been beautiful and really hard at times. Drew and I both have a lot of wounds from that world. We have more than one chip on our shoulders when it comes to ‘religious’ culture and the way a lot of people from our past lived their lives. One of the key offenses being, ya know, letting Jesus take the wheel and then taking zero responsibility for your life. There is something about that way of being that makes me want to hit something and vomit all at once… and yet… the deeper I get in my faith, the more I understand the sentiment, though I disagree whole heartedly with the action… or lack there of. And this is what Drew and I were discussing before 8 am on a casual Tuesday.

Here is the thing- in no way shape or form do I believe that your faith should act as a hall pass or a ‘get out of jail free card’- we are not in High School and this is not a game of Monopoly, it is your LIFE (again, not like the board game. There will be no spinning of a wheel to determine your fate). However, just because your faith looks different than mine and you live different then me, doesn’t mean I have permission to judge you and assault you with suggestions on how to ‘improve’ your life… maybe you really are content… maybe you like the way your life is… maybe you really are a person of faith who is trying to be obedient and listen to God in your life. But my differentiating question is, are you salty or have you lost your flavor?

Matthew 5:13 in the Message translation says this-
“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.”

Image Found Here

While Drew and I were talking I looked down and saw the Maldon Sea Salt box on the table. Reading the logo for the very first time, it struck me- ‘Curious Crystals of Unusual Purity’…

Do you know what I told the girl who doesn’t like salt? I told her that, at that very moment I had 6 or 7 KINDS of salt in my house (not including the epsom salts I have for baths…) I have since acquired 3 MORE salts from Hawaii because Drew was obsessed with them when we stayed with our friends in Michigan (thank you Katy and Patrick, Drew has never been happier or more well preserved). Are you tracking? There are DIFFERENT kinds of salt, with different purposes, different flavors… different saltiness! The moment I read that label I realized- Drew and I weren’t called or created to be iodized salt, kosher salt, or any other basic, generic form of salt… we are called to be ‘Curious Crystals of Unusual Purity’… super salty flakes of Maldon Sea Salt. This doesn’t mean the other forms of salt are ‘lesser than’ it means they serve a different purpose. Romans 12 (which I am currently obsessed with) talks a lot about who we are to be, how we are to live and interact. Verse 4 says, “In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body.” In my analogy there are many kinds of salt and each one is necessary to bring about a different flavor or server a different purpose in this world.

If you want to take this one step further, and I do, you could say that the world itself is like processed food… it tastes amazing, is packed great, and full of ‘salt flavor’ which is a synthetic manipulation of the ‘real thing’…it is pure sodium (like msg) which, over time, can (in real life) stiffen blood vessels, leading to high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke or heart failure. Spiritual MSG does the same things to our soul… it stiffens and closes off the pathways to our hearts leading to, eventual, heart failure. It is an imitation of what we are really craving. It tastes salty but doesn’t contain salt, it ‘feeds’ us but isn’t nourishing or satisfying our hunger.

Are you salty? Do you want to be? Do you know what real salt tastes like? Or have you only ever known the imitation?

Image Found via Maldon

More and more these days I find myself craving salt… I crave the nutrients it provides, the richness and flavor it adds to everything it touches… I want to be salty, to be a ‘curious crystal of unusual purity’ in the world around me and that takes action… it takes living into and living out my faith. It takes trust and courage, love and acceptance. It takes me swallowing my pride and ego and acting out of a place of identity and belonging. It requires me to be authentic and show up. If I really believe in what I say I do, than I am chosen, I am worthy, I belong… I am salt (and light). I want to sprinkle a little salt into your life each time we interact. I want to leave more God-flavor in the world. And on the days I myself feel a little ‘bland’, I will look over at the box(es) of Maldon sitting on my counter and remember the identity I have in Christ… the call to be a curious crystal of unusual purity.’.

In love, in light, in salt. xx

WHITE ELEPHANT

Picture this-
It’s the Holiday Season and you are at your third party of the week, the second to be using a ‘ugly Christmas sweater themed’ and the first to do a gift exchange- white elephant style.

TIME OUT

Who doesn’t know what ‘White Elephant’ is? Maybe you know it by the term ‘Yankee Swap’? Or ‘Dirty Santa’? Still no? Ok… fine, I will explain the age old (seriously though, historians believe it has been around since about 1828!) tradition of gift swapping to you.

The idea is incredibly simple. You bring a gift to exchange to a party, you place it on the gift table, and when the time comes everyone draws a number or enters their names into a hat or large glass bowl or festive basket (you get the idea) and the game begins. The first person gets to choose a gift… they can either keep it or swap it out… the next person can either steal the first persons gift or draw a new gift… then the next person can steal from one of the other two people or draw a new gift and so on and so forth. If your gift gets stolen you can either steal or draw a new gift (some people only say you can draw a new gift and not steal) and most importantly one gift can only be stolen three times. Make sense? No… thats ok, it doesn’t really matter for the moral of this story to work.

TIME IN

Back to your fantasy party full of friends you love, tasty food, lots of festive beverages, and that table full of gifts to be swapped over in the corner. As you survey the gifting table you can’t help but notice how some people really went out of their way with the wrapping, who knew a bow could be tied so perfectly? Some people opted for the bag method which looks great and is wayyyyy less work. And then there were those who couldn’t be asked to wrap their gifts in anything other than the bag from the store itself. Just when you were about to set the gift you brought down and walk away from the table you notice a rather poorly wrapped, crinkled, misshapen gift and your heart sinks just a little. You have an overwhelming suspicion that whatever is inside that brown paper parcel is not what you originally hoped to receive (you heard someone brought air pods!)… and yet… you have a sneaking feeling that is the gift you will end up getting stuck with. Before the thought grips you any further you set the present you brought squarely on top of that crinkled brown blob and walk away, putting the gift out of your mind… or trying to.

image found here

…

I was texting with a friend of mine this morning about a pretty major life change she is going through. It is one of those changes that is inevitable, you know it is coming, and yet, you hope, that with any sort of control on your part you can ward it off just a little longer.

Change is hard. Am I right? You don’t need to answer that… I know I’m right. 9 times out of 10 it isn’t something we welcome in with open arms… even the changes we are excited about still mean we are loosing or letting go of something else.

As she was telling me about this experience I couldn’t help but see how often I resist or fear change, especially when I know it is coming for me. I have never gone through exactly what she is going through, though I have a feeling I will one day and when I do I want to remember what I said to her, “change is hard... but it’s often a gift in ugly wrapping paper”.

Change is often that gift on the table that looks rather rough on the outside and not very appealing. It gives us a pit in our stomachs and takes our breath away ever so slightly. The thing I am realizing is that I can choose to get over the fear and anxiety, have courage and rip open the brown paper package to reveal whats inside OR I can sit in a ball of anxiety and wait, watching all the other ‘gifts’ be opened around me, refusing to face the reality of what is meant for me.

Truth be told, I am currently facing a brown paper package moment in my life, as much as my prior paragraph would lead to believe my ‘change’ is in the future there is very much a change happening in the preset (see what I did there…). Up until now it has been really easy to sit back and watch people around me open their ‘gifts’ revealing changes in their lives which once terrified them, only to realize that ‘thing’ is exactly what they needed to transform their lives for the better, to change their lives for good. But now… its getting harder to ‘sit on my hands’ and not rip open that wrapping paper…. I mean, this change in my life is so apparent that OTHER PEOPLE are calling it out… my friends boy friend, who is basically a mind reader/soul speaker, said to her after our first hang out together, “Oh, Kelseys life is about to change in a big way, it is written all over her.” At the time my response was… “cool… great… maybe I'll hold out a little longer…” But now? Now I am over waiting… it is time. Time to be brave in my self, time to have courage!

Anne Lamott once wrote that “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.”

What was keeping me from seeing that ugly little package as a gift before? What was keeping me from tearing off that crinkled brown paper and revealing the gift within? FEAR. F&*#ING FEAR. Which is just… sad.

There is a verse in the Bible which says, “Perfect love casts out fear.” A friend and gifted teacher of mine just translated that in a way that made my heart nearly explode. She said, “you know, I’ve been dwelling on 1 John 4:18, the verse which says, ‘perfect love cast out fear’ and I was like, ‘love is already perfect! Why do you need to say it, when it IS it?’ So I looked it up. And do you know what the word ‘perfect’ means in this context? It means to, ‘Administer to something until it is rendered full.’”
How good is that? UMMMMM it is so good! Because it means even in fear God is administering his love into our lives, over and over and over again, filling us up, even when we fall and spill and make a mess, he picks us up, brushes us off and says, “It’s ok, I have more.” We can be in the middle of our fear and not be overwhelmed because we are being filled to overflowing with the LOVE of the one who IS love, the creator of the universe, the Divine.

The other side of the same coin would be fearing that our lives will never change. My sweet friends, as I said before, change is inevitable. Change is in our pasts, present and future. We get to choose how we will handle it. Will we avoid it or embrace it? Will we try opening it slowly, peeling back one corner and trying to see inside? Or will we choose to have courage, to do it afraid, lean in and rip that wrapping paper off like a bandaid? Remembering that even in our fear we can choose to be emboldened with the love of the one who loves us best- fear may be around us, but it is not dwelling in us.

Yoda boyfriend (whom I mentioned earlier) has a quote which says, “Radical acceptance of your life as it is today—especially when your life is not where you want it to be— doesn’t mean that your life is never going to change. No, it’s through the healing journey of positioning your heart to accept your life as it is today that you work through and release the fear of your life never changing and as a result— your life changes.” -Caleb Cambell

Such a good reminder. You have today, this moment. This breath. Allow the change to come. Surrender the resistance (p.s. I am 1000% writing that for myself to hear) and lean into love. You will never regret the healing that comes through acceptance.

My friends, what changes are you facing? How can you embrace them rather than resist them? What fear is keeping you from acceptance? And how can we walk with you on this road?

In grace and gratitude,

Kelsey

LIFE IS LIKE A CUP (OF) NOODLES

Who else lived on Cup Noodles or Ramen at some point in their life? I don’t care if it was Top Ramen or Maruchan, those babies were a total life saver… even if they were sodium bombs slowly increasing our risk of stroke or heart failure… we didn’t care, they kept us fed when we were pour as dirt and that is all that mattered.

When I was little I would make a packet of ramen and add shredded cheese to it… which, I admit, is so gross…but you guys, I swear, it is so delicious (at least it was delicious by my 12 year old selfs standards). By the time I hit college my ramen accoutrement had become a bit more classy? Tasty? Legit? I would top my noodles with a fried or boiled egg, some soy sauce, left over rotisserie chicken, and of course an aggressive amount of sriracha. Basically, I was adding cheap ingredients to make my $0.50 packet of noodles taste better. Also it is worth noting that by ‘collage’ I mean ‘collage age’… I was a working girl… no not that kind of working girl! Rude! I was a hairstylist working in a salon by the age of 18 who went to community collage part time, had another part time job and never lived on a campus anywhere… but still, baby girl was on a B-U-D-G-E-T.

The funny thing is, this ‘doctoring up’ of cheap noodles is a fairly universal thing… unless you are David Chang who would eat the brick of noodles with the seasoning sprinkled directly on top… ya know… raw…without cooking it… total savage. Most people, though they are down to eat the plain noodles swimming in broth (whose salt content rivals the Pacific), would prefer to add a little something-something to their bowl; transforming something humble into something special. And this is where things get interesting…

What if we looked at our everyday lives like a bowl of ramen?

Hear me out on this one. I know it is a bit of a stretch, but I’m really in love with this analogy. Just think about it. We all have a habit of going into auto pilot in the day to day. We allow time to pass and things can feel ‘basic’, ‘repetitive’ or ‘boring’, like a plain bowl of Chicken Top Ramen. The thing is, life is full of opportunities to add flavor, texture, spice, and richness to our ‘every day’ moments, we just need to get creative.

The Flavor Bender took my collage age Ramen dreams and made them into a far better reality.

The challenge I would like to put forward is this-

What can you add to your bowl of ramen?

Can you get coffee with someone who inspires you in order to learn more about what they do and how they do it?

Can you (finally) take that dance class you have been thinking about or sign up for a pottery class (like you have been talking about for YEARS)…

Can you listen to a podcast on a subject you have been wanting to learn more about?

Can you…

Listen more than you speak?

Read a good book?

Take a nap?

Go to yoga?

Get a facial?

Journal?

Learn to code?

Learn to cook?

Find a mentor?

BE a mentor?

Give back to your community?

The possibilities are endless.

This gets me really excited and heres why- ‘topping your ramen’ opens up your life! It gives you the opportunity to be full of good things, full of flavor, full of what will nourish you… even if your circumstances right now aren’t the best on their own…

So if you are looking at your life, feeling like it is a little plain, bland, or boring, I would challenge you to get out a pen and paper (I know, I’m old school) set a timer for twenty minutes (which seems like a long time, until you get on a roll) and write down all the ways you could ‘top’ your ramen (no… I don’t mean that to sound as sexual as it does). Once you get a good list of options, sleep on it, don’t rush, you want to listen to what your ‘cravings’ actually are… find out what is really speaking to you and then begin to add those things in, one or two at a time, try it out and see how you like it. Are they the right ‘toppings’? Do they add the flavor you are looking for? If not, why? Once you know what works, add a little more.

My hope is that our lives will be transformed into something we look forward to living, rather than something we ‘just do to get by’. And yes, I say we in this because I am right there with you. I am trying out ‘toppings’ as we speak… or as I type and you read?… you know what I mean. This very post is a topping and I must say, I find it rather delicious.

Bon Appetite xx

EVERYTHING BUT THE BAGEL

I have a feeling this post will be a ‘part one’ in a series… this, of course, remains to be seen but it is worth giving you a fair warning… just incase. Also this post is dedicated to my friend Kara because she literally keeps a bottle of ‘Everything But the Bagel’ seasoning in her car and eats it directly off her hand… no joke… it is (only a little) gross and also my favorite thing about her.

MOVING ON

Drew and I were sitting at breakfast the other morning, doing our ‘weekly check in’ when we began to talk about the ideas, beliefs, and feelings we ‘plant’ in our lives and, therefore, into the lives of others.

First, allow me to address the elephant in the room. Yes, we have a ‘weekly check in’ … which sounds like a term Brené Brown (love you girl… woman?… human? what are we allowed to say now?) would use to describe a feel good staff meeting with vulnerability at its core… and it kind of is. We go over how the week went- what went well? what didn’t and why. What are we proud of? What do we wish we had done better? Where can we grow? Where do we need to let go? How would we rate the week? What is coming up next week? Who do we want to be spending time with? Who should we reach out to? So on and so forth. It is a way to look at time a little more intentionally. Life goes by so quickly these days and I find myself sitting on my sofa in mid-August remembering this time LAST YEAR like it was yesterday! I mean… I now understand why my cousins could never tell me their actual age, it wasn’t that they wanted to be 29 forever, it was that years were passing too quickly and they couldn’t keep track of time (this of course was totally unfathomable to my tiny human mind… age is basically a super power when you are little… like turning ‘double-digits’ is everything). Regardless, I highly encourage you to get in the habit of a ‘weekly check-in’ even if it is with yourself. It can be uncomfortable and convicting, illuminating and inspiring- try it out and let me know what you think!

Ok, so back to why we are all here- GARDENING… Jk… Kind of.

There is a parable in Matthew 13:3-8 where Jesus talks about seeds and soil. It says-
”A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.”

As Drew and I sat at the table talking this story took on a whole new meaning for me and I began to wonder… What if I am the sower and not just the seed? if I am a sower, what am I sowing and where is it landing, how is it growing? What are the seeds I am choosing to spread? Am I intentional about the soil I am sowing into? Because its really easy to say things… and assume they are true… speak about them like you know what you are talking about and convince others that the ‘seeds’ of knowledge you have are good. It is also really easy to sow into the wrong soil (you know, like that person in your life you are convinced you can fix/change etc…). The question becomes, what are you planting into the hearts and minds of others? What is planted in your heart and your mind? I reckon, if we are honest with ourselves, we need to do a little weeding, a little pruning, and, maybe, be a bit more careful in our seed and soil selection.

When I was growing up I always heard sermons saying that we are the seeds and it is about where we are planted and how we will grow… which I 1000% agree with… the ‘soil’ we plant ourselves into is essential to how we will grow… BUT I loved how God showed me that we are also the ‘sower' of the seeds. If you are a theologian please know that a)I am not one and b) I’m not trying to take this passage out of context, I am simply seeing it with a new lens.

I want to spend some time around this idea of seeds… the seeds of our thoughts…the seeds of our actions…the seeds of our feelings and emotions…the seeds of our finances (ouch!)…the seeds we bury too deep within ourselves or keep stored away because we don’t want to ‘waste’ them. Basically, what I’m really trying to say is- our lives are like a bottle of ‘Everything But the Bagel’ seasoning, and if we seek wisdom, the sprinkling of our thoughts, words, finances and actions in others lives will add so much delicious flavor it will keep them coming back for more!

xx

she kept herself small pt.2

A while back I told you a story about a girl who lived in a world that kept her small. A world covered in clouds of guilt, fear, and shame. A world where the Sky was waiting for her to clear away the clouds and bask in the sun once again.

As I’m sure you gathered, that girl was me… or perhaps you have no idea what I’m talking about… if thats the case do yourself a favor and scroll down to ‘she kept herself small pt. 1’ this will make a lot more sense if you do… then again it may be more fun if you don’t… dealers choice.

ANYWAYS.

I started writing part 2 to that story ages ago. It was based around the idea of Tall Poppy Syndrome and how the culture of my childhood was deeply rooted in it… here is part of the former piece-

Tall Poppy Syndrome or TPS, is defined as - ‘a perceived tendency to discredit or disparage those who have achieved notable wealth or prominence in public life’.
You better believe the culture I grew up in had a TPS epidemic! I’m not sure if it was in the water or a virus on a bender… maybe it was a class in school during the 1950s that taught you that you could only be so successful, you should only make so much money and live in a certain kind of house, wear certain clothes and drive certain cars… if you did otherwise you would be judged ever so severely and talked about in hushed voices behind your back for the rest of your life.

The really confusing part is that parents tell their children “you can do anything sweet heart!”, “you are SO special”, “you are amazing” but the thing is, their words about others and actions in life speak way louder than those subtle, dulcet tones of praise and encouragement.

…but then I had a dream. You know the ones where you aren’t quite awake and sleep has yet to fully come? Somewhere in that space I had the realization that, while TPS was a langue my culture was fluent in and yes, it affected me in ways I still can’t fully grasp, I too played a part in keeping myself small, I was not as exempt and ‘put upon’ as I liked to believe (hello victim mindset, lovely to see you, will you kindly leave, please and thank you). I literally have a note in my phone from that night (making notes of your dreams is a super fun and often hilarious practice, give it a try and see what a weirdo your subconscious mind is!), the note says, “I held the weed whacker. It wasn’t just what was put on me, I chose to accept it.” D-d-d-daaaammmmnnnnnn. My subconscious is HARSH… but also fairly accurate.

Lake Elsinore during the 2019 Super Bloom

This is the brutal truth of our lives. I originally intended to write a piece about how detrimental the TPS culture is (because… well…it is) and how damaging those people were to me… BUT I was then faced with the truth of myself. I accepted their beliefs, their words and mindset. I chose to believe and partner with the voices of fear and shame and allowed them to shape the majority of my life. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” you may say, and thank you, I appreciate your grace and generous spirit, however, I want to go a little deeper into this concept, perhaps then you will understand.

I left the culture I was raised in (officially) seven years ago, but I lived in that version of ‘truth’ or rather, carried that mindset with me up until about a year ago! Far fewer people had access to who I was, what I believed and how I lived my life in those years… and yet… I remained small, hidden, discounting the success and ‘value’ of my life. Prime example- I literally did a world tour with a famous band (as their groomer) during that time and I couldn’t accept that I was ‘successful’… HOW WILD IS THAT!? My heart breaks when I think about the mindset I lived inside of for nearly 30 years. It was small, judgemental and afraid, narrated by the voices of victim and critic (and they are nasty voices I tell you what!).

The truth is this- I am responsible for what I believe, how I act (re-act, respond, etc), what I think and feel and how I see myself, my worth, my worthiness…my-ness in general. The truth is YOU are responsible for these things in your life as well.

We often get so wrapped up in the voice of the victim, “I can’t believe this is happening TO me!”, “Everyone is just out to get me”, “Don’t they know what they are doing TO me?”… This voice is loud and convincing, but I need you to pause for one second and ask yourself if the words it is shouting are true… really true. Please know -yes- I do believe that others words and actions leave their imprint on our lives, they have an effect, HOWEVER, I also believe that we have power and agency- we get to choose whether or not we accept, take on, believe, or hold onto these words and actions. In a strange way taking responsibility for our lives alleviates a lot of stress… because you stop blaming everyone for everything in your life and get curious instead… you ask yourself hard questions that lead (eventually) to freedom- “Do I believe thats true? If yes, what do I need to change or how do I want to respond?”, “Ok, this IS what is going on… how do I show up in this moment? What actions need to be taken, if any at all?”, “Wow, that is a really terrible thing to do/say to someone. *take a breath* I really think it has more to do with them then it has to do with me… I don’t need to carry this.” or “Wow, that is a really terrible thing to do/say to someone. *take a breath* but they are totally right… I have been such a jerk and totally self-absorbed. I need to take some time to reevaluate how my words and actions affect others.” Taking responsibility asks you to be present, to show up in your own life and not abdicate the role you were created to play or disconnect from the life you were meant to live.

Truth be told it is easier to be a victim… it is easier to play the blame game. I’ve spent a lot of time blaming… And, while I don’t like regretting things, I do regret that. I believe we get information from our pasts, we are shaped by them and we can look at them for root causes of trauma, mental patterns, habits and beliefs… but as Oprah says (via Mia Angelou), “Once you know better, DO better.”… I now know better so I will do better. I will ask myself the hard questions, take responsibility (where responsibility is due) and show up in my own life.

I hope to unpack this even more in a future post… until then, I would encourage you to do an inventory in your life. What blame are you holding on to? Who do you need to forgive? What mental patterns are no longer serving you? How can you begin to root down into your life, so that you can rise up to your full potential?

In love, light, and miracle grow. xx

LIFE IS LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE

Is there anything better than a cup of freshly brewed coffee? That first sip in the morning may be one of lifes most perfect moments. I feel for that moment the way Thanos feels in the moment he walks out of his bungalow in paradise at the end of Avengers Infinity War (only I don’t need to destroy half the universe to feel that kind of tranquility and notice the simple pleasures of life… but still). Truth be told, we aren’t here to talk literal coffee, though heaven knows I could and would talk about coffee/coffee shops until the cows come home. However, this post may be more enjoyable if read while sipping a cup of (preferably hot) coffee, otherwise you may find yourself distracted and craving a cup of joe than a Gilmore Girl.

As I sat in meditation the other morning I got a download that I want to try and unpack, it isn’t a fully fleshed out idea, but I want to start processing it with all of you, rather than keeping it to myself in one of the stacked up notebooks on my shelf (of which there are many). The ‘download’ was of a metaphor for life which, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense (if you aren’t a coffee person, this may be a little harder to follow, email me with any and all of your questions please and thank you).

We all know that life can be lived a million different ways. You have power and agency and like it or not, you get to choose how you will spend your days, view the world, what you believe in and how you will feel/behave in any given situation. Forrest Gump once said that “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gunna get”… which is so very true! But I would argue life is also like a cup of coffee, what you get out of it depends on how it is made or rather how you make it.

There is percolation, steeping, filtration and extraction which lead to the final product, a cup of coffee… but not all brewing methods/styles are equal, not all cups of coffee are the same (unless you are my Grandpa Phil who only drank Foldgers Original 24/7…but that doesn’t count).

Things, ideas and external influencers bubble up within us, percolating in our minds, actively (or in some cases passively) permeating our beings. We allow these things to steep within us- saturating and imbuing us with information and ideation, we absorb the beliefs and ideals, allowing them to filter through our hearts and minds. We leave behind what won’t serve us and what we are left with is our extracted values, beliefs, knowledge, wisdom, and truth.

Growing up we had a Bunn coffeemaker, you know the one, it was black with a brushed stainless steel pot. Every night my dad would fill the tank with water, grind the beans, put the grinds in the filter, and close the lid. Every morning he would wake up and flip the little ‘on’ switch before going about getting ready for the day. The smell of coffee would fill the house, comforting, warm, deep. I would come out into the kitchen, shuffling in my pink fuzzy slippers, grab the biggest mug I could find and pour myself a cup before the liquid life was gone. I would shuffle to the kitchen table, sit down, put the cup to my nose, inhaling its delicious aroma and then sip its steaming hot contents… this was my literal favorite thing… until I discovered the French Press. It revolutionized coffee for me. How could the SAME exact beans, ground the same way, with the same water taste SO much better?!? It can’t get better than this I thought. But, of course, I was wrong. I then discovered the ‘pour over’ and I never looked at coffee the same.

Image from The Cottage Farm Blog (v v cute y’all… this is a link to a recipe for granola and poached pears!)

You see, each and every day we gather information, knowledge, facts, and stories, we grind them up and place them in the ‘filter’ of our minds. We pour water through them and allow them to steep within us, transforming them into an extraction, a finer, more useful substance, which permeates our beings.

The issue with the ‘traditional’ drip coffee method is how quickly the water goes through the grounds. You end up with more muddied, rushed cup of coffee, where (even if there are good things in the filter) you don’t get a fully fleshed out cup; it tastes flat, like something is missing. Taking the time to slowly pour water over the ‘grounds’ in your heart and mind, allowing them to steep longer, yields a finer extraction. It is more pure, there is clarity; a full bodied flavor to the wisdom, knowledge, beliefs and truths.

The question becomes, what method are you using? What filters do you have in place? What are you filling them with? How are you extracting the values, truths, beliefs, and wisdom for your life?

Take a moment to think about how you process information. Do you take time to let it steep or rush through? Do you rely only on yourself to filter all you are taking in or do you have friends, community, faith, Source to help you process? Where are you getting your ‘grounds’ from? Are they fear based? Are they future based? Are they driven by the feeling of not being enough? Or driven by your full and actualized self?

Image from Morgan Fite (on how to brew better coffee at home)

I have been giving this a lot of thought and I have decided I want my heart to be like a Chemex. Allow me to explain how a Chemex works for those that aren’t familiar. First things first- in order to brew a beautiful cup of coffee with a Chemex you must BE PRESENT, you must SLOW DOWN. I once read that this brew style yields ‘practice and patience’ such good things to cultivate in life. Anyways! You weigh, measure, and grind your beans while your water boils to 195-205 degrees Fahrenheit. If you don’t have a thermometer or temperature regulated kettle remove the water from the heat once boiled and allow to ‘rest’ for 30 seconds. Place the filter into the top of the Chemex and pour water over it to prepare it (removing the papery taste), BEFORE adding your grounds (be sure to remove the excess water from the bottom of the Chemex). Add your grounds to the prepared filter and ‘bloom’ them to remove CO2 (this is where the top of the grounds gets all bubbly and frothy looking). Then, slowly, methodically, pour the hot water over the grounds (in a circular or spiral motion) until saturated, allow to filter through, then add more water, repeat until desired amount of coffee has been brewed (per the ratio of the grounds).

Do you understand? I want to be present, to slow down, learn the art of practice and patience in my life. I want to know that what I am placing into the filter of my heart and mind are good things and that I am allowing them to steep so I can fully absorb what they have to offer, so that I may yield a good result. But the reason I love the Chemex is that one step which sets it apart from so many other methods- you prepare the filter by cleansing it, by pouring boiling hot water over it. I want the waters of the Holy Spirit to cleans my filter. I want the Living Water to prepare me for what I am about to receive.

If I am using Living Water, Holy Spirit, God, Source, Jesus, to prepare me, to filter my longing, my knowledge, my passion, desire, truth and wisdom, how much greater will my life be? There will be more clarity, purity, a richer and more full flavor to my life.

Truth be told, some days I still rush it. I don’t prepare the filter right, I don’t slow down and go through the steps that it takes to yield a good result. BUT as the Chemex process states PRACTICE and PATIENCE when partnered with CONSISTENCY over time, will (ultimately) lead to something extraordinary.

Talk to me about how you filter? What is your ‘method’… what are you ‘extracting’ and do you feel you are yielding a good result?

xx

JUST CALL ME JUDY

I would argue the most recognized judge in the United States is not a member of the Supreme Court, as one might hope, but rather the daytime TV superstar Judith Sheindlin a.k.a Judge Judy.

Truth be told I don’t know that I’ve ever watched a full episode of the Daytime Emmy winning show (seriously, she won an Emmy for outstanding legal/courtroom program) however, as a kid I would try to sneak in some legal drama while my mom was distracted elsewhere in the house (obviously I quickly switched back to PBS when I heard her foot steps coming down the hall). I’m fairly certain this show is where I learned all the legal jargon I know… well that and Legally Blonde… ANYWAYS, the beauty of Judge Judy is that you don’t have to watch it to understand what it is about, the premise of the show is in the title after all; if you can’t figure out that it is a courtroom show by the giant font that says JUDGE, then the tiny justice building inside the ‘D’ of Judy should be a dead giveaway. Regardless, my point is that you don’t really need to watch a whole episode to understand it- people go to court, argue over who knows what, while Judy glowers and shouts at them to ‘be quite’, ‘sit down’, and/or informs them that “Um is not an answer.” before passing her final judgement from the bench. It is fascinating Television I tell you what.

I say all of this because of a conversation I had with a friend the other day, it is also a conversation I have with Drew on a semi-regular basis. You see, I am a recovering judge… not in the ‘robe, gavel, and powdered wig’ sense… more of in the ultra critical ‘dirt star’ sort of a way (if you don’t know what that is DO NOT Google it… blame Ali Wong and Tan France… at least I didn’t say ‘Balloon knot’). Here’s the thing, I was an undercover judge for the majority of my life. I was subtle, tactful, tasteful in my judgements. I wasn’t pulling a Judy and yelling at people or boisterously saying terrible things about them to their faces, I was quietly judging them in my mind. I know! So rude. The-actual-worst.

If I ever judged you I am so terribly sorry and would like to ask your forgiveness right now, on this public forum. Will you please forgive me?

Here’s the deal. I come from a long line of judges. It is how I learned to view the world and find my place in it… how will I ever know where I fit or how I measure up if I’m not judging, critiquing or comparing myself to EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME!?! There are more than a few problems with this way of being, but here are my top 3-

Problem number 1- this is no way to live. It destroys your self esteem and breaks down any sense of self you may have once had. You will be ( as I was) constantly confused about who you are because you are trying to figure out who you ‘should’ be.

Problem number 2- you will find it hard to genuinely connect with people because you are perched up on your judges seat putting a divide between you and the world around you.

Problem number 3- you will develop body dysmorphia, paranoia (from the belief that everyone else is also judging you) and a myriad of other bad habits that are not founded in reality but in the misinformed thoughts swirling inside your head birthed and fostered by fear.

There is a verse in the Bible that says “Do not judge, lest you be judged” I always took this to mean that I would be judged by God when I died and got to the pearly gates… but now I’m not so sure. I actually think there is evidence to prove that when you carry a spirit of judgement towards others it stems from a spirit of judgement for yourself. Imagine the judgemental view of the world as a set of contact lenses; once you put them in you can’t take them out, so when you are looking at yourself in the mirror you see yourself through the same (if not more intense [because you are up close and personal]) judgement filled eyes that you view the rest of the world with… does that make sense? In my case those lenses were shoved on my eyes at birth so I wasn’t really aware I was wearing them until they started to hurt.

Allowing the spirit of judgement to remain in my life was torturing my way of thinking-
”Do I look that ridiculous when I wave?”
”Am I her size or her size? Oh man I hope I’m not her size!”
”Wow… that is a look”
”Do you know how annoying you are? I think you do…”
The list goes on and on… and truth be told, 92% of the time it has nothing to do with the people I am mentally murdering with my drive by judgings… it has to do with me and the fears I have allowed to weasel their way into my mind. Saying no to judgement means saying no to partnering with fear. Saying no the spirit of fear and judgement means saying yes to a greater spirit of love and acceptance for myself and for others. Don’t get me wrong, I’m human, and every now and again, if I’m not careful and I’m not guarding my mind and heart, those familiar lenses will try to float their way back over my eyes. But there is hope in forgiveness. There is power in believing the best over someone, calling them UP into who they were created to be rather than cutting them down.

So, here we are, in recovery, learning to look in the mirror with clear eye (full hearts… can’t loose, ya know?). To look at myself with acceptance for who I AM, where I AM, what I look like, how I feel, my body, my intelligence, my career… All of it IS what it is and that is ok. I can learn, I can grow, I can choose to change, but in this moment I refuse to partner with fear and judge the current status of things. As I practice this grace for self, I find that it filters my thoughts, softening the edges. I once heard it said that mercy covers you when you are down and grace calls you up out of that space. And so today, may I extend you a hand of grace, to call you up, to pull you out, and welcome you in to a journey of acceptance. If you aren’t ready to receive it, may I offer you a super fluffy blanket of mercy to wrap you up and give you comfort while you are down.. take as much time as you need, I’m here to help you up when you are ready.

xx

P.S. I will be holding you all accountable. If you see me reaching for that robe (complete with lace collar) and powdered wig, you slap my hand and tell me to PUT IT DOWN because my name isn’t Judy and I have no right being in the judgement seat.

p.p.s.

Here is how to process an emotion, from Karol K. Truman’s book ‘Feelings Buried Alive Never Die…’
(casual title right?) she calls it ‘The Script’ it is a tool you can use for literally ANY emotion. Pick up a copy of her book to learn more.

“In the name of Jesus Christ... Spirit, Super-Conscious, subconscious, Conscious, Higher Self, Heart, Mind, Will, Nervous System-Brain, Original Intelligence, RNA, DNA, & every genetic anomaly out of alignment with my pattern of perfection, please locate the origin of my conscious & sub-conscious destructive cellular memories which caused the incorrect perceptions that created feelings/thoughts/beliefs of JUDGEMENT

Take each & every level, layer, area, & aspect of my Being to these origins.

Analyze & resolve them perfectly with God the Father’s truth.

Come forward through all generations of time & eternity healing every event & it’s appendages based on the origins. Please do it according to God the Father’s will, until I’m at the present—— filled with light & truth, God’s Immanence, peace & love, benevolence, forgiveness of my self for my imperfect perceptions, having compassion for ever person, place, circumstance & event which contributed to any of these destructive cellular memories, feelings, thoughts, or beliefs.

With total forgiveness & unconditional love, I ask that my physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual memory of perfection resonate throughout my Being.

I choose Being non-judgement, accepting, allowing and wise.

I feel non-judgement, accepting, allowing and wise.

I AM non-judgement, accepting, allowing and wise.

It is done! It is healed! It is accomplished now!

Thank you all for coming to my aid & working together to help me rid my Being of stress, & attain the full measure of my creation. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you & praise God the Father from whom all blessings flow.

Now, all facets of my Being, please put this Scripting on automatic so it repeats itself throughout each & every cell & fiber of my Being every half hour of every day for the next 180 days, (or however long is best for me) thereby re-storing perfectly healthy frequencies throughout my Being & returning me to my original purpose, power & magnificence! And it is done!

The other night I went to a barbecue my friends were hosting at their home in Pasadena (the location is irrelevant by the way… but, I suppose, if you life in the LA area it is a fun point of reference). It was the perfect Summer evening. We sat at a picnic table in the back yard, under a huge tree whose branches perfectly filtered the golden light shimmering off the setting sun. A cool evening breeze kindly brought relief from the heat of the day and conversation flowed with the wine and beer (chilled of course, we aren’t savages).

At one point in the evening I found myself in a conversation with my friends brother, an ex-pro golfer, life coach, and public speaker (I find him fascinating). He was telling us a story about how he had seen Drew and I at Trader Joes the week prior and wanted to say hi, but was caught in a surprisingly long conversation with the girl giving out samples in the corner. The obvious question was “so… did you get her number?!” Thane laughed (oh yeah… forgot to mention the most fascinating thing about him, which is that his name is THANE, I think he may be the other brother of Thor… kind of like the bonus Jonas that no one ever talks about [Hey Frankie, we see you]) Anyways… Thane laughed and said, “No we were talking about my shirt.” We all gave him a quizzical look. “My shirt said ‘Choose Love’.” He explained, “It is from this organization called CharacterStrong which has key note speakers who go into schools to talk about different subjects- though their primary goal is to normalize kindness. Anyways, she asked me what I thought that meant to choose love.”

In the moment Thane told her about the organization and its impact on kids in schools (which is epic) and realized when he finally walked away from the sample station that a) he didn’t really answer her question, b) he totally forgot to get his sample and c) Drew and I were long gone by then (truthfully, I don’t think he thought about us at all in that moment). Given that he failed to answer her question, I felt compelled to ask, “So, what does it mean to you to ‘choose love’?”

“To choose the other, see the other and consider what is best for them and not just yourself” He said. A+ answer right? Ladies, he is single and looking for a future Mrs. Ex-Pro Golfer, Life Coach, and Public Speaker, just saying. He then turned the question back around to me, “What does it mean to you?”

I went full Marianne Williamson (of course) and said, “Choosing love means NOT choosing fear. Racism, Sexism, judgement, self hatred, etc. are all rooted in fear. Fear of the other, fear of failure, fear of accountability, fear of success, fear of love itself, fear of vulnerability… To choose love is to say no to fear and stand in the power of something so much greater.” It’s ok, you can be impressed, I surprised even myself with that one (Marianne, you taught me well).

That question is so sticky isn’t it? What does it mean to Choose Love? (Thank you sample girl). So I would like to pose that question to you- What does choosing love mean to you?

As I closed my eyes for prayer and meditation this morning I had a vision (don’t worry I’m not crazy, it’s just how God tells me things I need to remember… I had learning issues as a child and if I visualized something I would remember it, my imagination is the key to my memory apparently)-

In my minds eye I saw a tiny me, like ‘Honey I Shrunk the Kids’ me, taking a machete to the over growth of foliage springing up over my chest, rooted into my heart. It was lush and green and thick- in need of pruning so that my heart could still be accessible. Once I got to my heart I opened a hatch perched on top and descended into the chambers (don’t worry, my imagination left the reality of a heart out, so there was no blood, though there was a lovely Himalayan Salt Lamp hue to the place). Once I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw boxes upon boxes of old memories, the stuffed away pain and hurts of my past, the words spoken over me, the anger I repressed, the fears I allowed to make their home in my heart and move in their belongings… all of it ‘stored’ deep inside my ‘inner-most-being’. Needless to say I immediately started to chuck the boxes out the hatch door. When I was done with the larger items all that was left was a small shoe box. Upon taking off the lid I saw photos from my past, my present and my future. People I loved, love, will love. Moments I remember as clear as day, dreams I have dreamt and hopes of what is yet to come. I began to hang the photographs on the walls of my heart, allowing love to take up space and make its home there.

I felt a tinge of guilt for throwing out the other boxes, what if I need something I buried at the bottom of one of them? The moment that thought crossed my mind I heard Holy Spirit say, those things are in the past, the old is gone, the new has come. You can choose to forgive, choose to let go, choose to heal, and choose to love. For love heals, love redeems, love casts out fear.

This, of course, reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which in the TPT (The Passion Translation) says-

“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”

Love never gives up, the start of verse 8 actually says “love never stops loving”, in another translation it says, “love never fails” which is almost too much for my brain to comprehend, thank heavens my soul understands… Love is joyful, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it is a shelter?! Man oh man! How good is that? How would the world change if we choose to live from a place of real, deep, meaningful, L-O-V-E-LOVE!? What could we accomplish? How would your community benefit? Your household? Your heart and soul?

Try this. Close your eyes… well ok… read the directions and THEN close your eyes-

Take a comfortable seat, place your hands over your heart- right hand on your chest, left hand over your right. Take a deep breath in.
Exhale.
Breath in, saying with your heart, mind and soul- I love myself the way God* loves me
Exhale- I love others the way God loves them
Repeat 5-10x working up to 5-10 minutes.

This is known as breath meditation. You breath in one mantra and out another. You could breath in- I am known, loved, and accepted and breath out- who I am is enough. You could breath in- Today I choose Love and exhale- for myself and others. It doesn’t need to be complicated or contrived, I often find the simpler the better. Try practicing this form of meditation for a couple of minutes each morning and see how it shapes your day, I would ‘love’ to hear how it impacts the way you think and feel.

Choose love my dear friends. It is vulnerable and scary, but as we learned earlier- Love casts out fear.

xx