MERIOD

Here’s the thing. Gents, you get all worked up over women’s “time”; you dread it, hate us while we are suffering and doubled over in pain, which to be honest isn’t fair, if Jamie Foxx can blame it on the Alcohol I sure as hell can blame women’s irrational behavior on the pms. Not to mentionMeriods, that’s right, Man-periods, they are a real thing, if you don’t believe me look it up for yourself.

You guys get all worked up over our mood swings, when in reality you do the same thing! Granted, you get off easy, you don’t bleed for days and want to die, you simply become giant five year olds who can’t deal with the harsh truths of reality and turn every life scenario into a soap opera (no offense). Some men may be exempt from this syndrome, just as some women can miraculously handle mother natures wrath without becoming raging tyrants.

Ladies, here is what you need to do for your man. When he becomes emotionally crippled and feels like everything is “all wrong” take his hand in yours and slather on the compliments. Figure out hislove language and overly compensate when things get bleak. Most men only hold these mood swings for a few days and write them off as stress from work or not getting enough sleep, but we all know better, you guys are just as much hormonal messes as we are, you just lack physical proof (damn you lucky bustards!). Also be sure to find out early on if your guy is needy while in flux or if he is one who needs extra space. If you try to “give him space” and he is a physical touch person he will feel like you are being distant and non caring, where you think you are being extra caring by allowing him room… it works the other way as well, if you think snuggling and kisses will make him feel better but he needs space to breath he will feel like you are smothering him, which is never a positive descriptor to have placed on your relational status.

Photo by the bomb ass photographer Jill DeVries

Guys, I know that as you read this you are thinking “WTF!? I do not have a meriod. I am a testosterone pumping, chest hair growing, red blooded man damn it!” and I applaud you, go get yourself a shot of whiskey and salute your manliness, then after you feel that burn settle in your belly think long and hard about the reality of what I am saying to you. You now have a logical explanation for those days where you feel “off” or “not yourself”. You aren’t broken, your just having your meriod!

I promise you, this isn’t the end of the world. In todays society it is perfectly natural for a man to place his full range of emotions on display without fear of feeling emasculated; hell, a man who cries at a chick flick is practically thrown a parade. So go, be free, let your hormonal hot-mess of a self find expectance in this great thriving world and remember, you are not alone.