I have a habit, I suppose it is a bad one, but you know what, we all have things we do and can't seem to help which, for the most part, is totally ok (unless that thing is compulsively picking your nose in public, that's just nasty). This particular habit is one I have had my whole life, though I was unaware of it until a few short years ago. It is reactionary, impulsive, and kind of offensive to people who don't really know me. If you have been one of those people I am truly sorry.
Here's the deal-
When I was 23 years old I got Botox (don't judge! it was for migraine headaches and it helped... a lot. so even if you are judging me I don't care because a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do). Botox is this magnificent thing which, essentially, freezes your face into statue worthy perfection; you will also be flawless... the only hitch is that you are injecting terrifying things into your face and it can go horribly wrong... but we aren't here to talk about that. So anyways, back to me, the 23 year old who got Botox (for medical purposes).
One day, while talking to some friends I noticed a few of them grinning and giggling slightly to themselves, being who I am I thought they were laughing at my offbeat humor, but that my friends was not the case. Caton, one of my dearest friends and Drews first wife (long story) looks at me, smiles and says, "you have some serious eye brow happening right now! It is amazing and terrifying, like a car crash is happening on your forehead, I can't look away!"
The thing is, because my... 'treatment'... was strategically placed to prevent migraines from exploding in my face, I still had movement in my eyebrows while my forehead remained more serene than the Mona Lisa could ever dream of (seriously I am amazed I didn't become some renowned painters muse). Due to this fact, every now and again, my left eye brow would creep itself up my face into a sharp, angular point that left a look of pure judgment on my face, Yzma style; I was casting mad shade without even realizing it until that moment Caton pulled me out of my naiveté and into the harsh light of day.
You guys, I had a bitch brow and everyone knew about it except for me! I felt like the kid who has toilet paper stuck to their shoe and NO ONE tells them because they think it's funny... which it is... however, I was the kid, therefore I was horrified! Had I been offending people without even realizing it my whole life? No wonder that girl flipped me off in class, no wonder children are scared of me, no wonder that woman at the grocery store gave me the stank eye... No, that was because I was buying champagne and baby food at the same time (to be fair it was for a baby shower game... but still)! My eyebrow was causing problems and I couldn't even apologize for them.
Now, years later, I have learned to coexist quite well with my bitch brow and I must admit I am rather fond of it. I treat it to regular grooming and shape it nicely with posh brow care. It comes out more often than I would like but old habits die hard I suppose. I will confess that every now and again I like to show it off, you know, parade it around a party where people don't know me just to gage the reaction of passers by (cheap entertainment is hard to come by these days). Though the brow and I still have our differences, I think it is safe to say that we like each other better in a Botox free environment.
So there you have it. A harrowing tale of "Broke Back" quality, where in the end a girl and her habit find themselves as lovers and can't find it in their hearts to quit each other, even if they tried.
xx
